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Bubba
There was a man named Bubba and Bubba knew
EVERYONE in the whole world!!! Once when Bubba got a new job, Bubba says to his
new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!" His boss doesn't believe
him, so he says "No you do not know everyone in the whole world" but Bubba says
"Yes I do!" so Bubba's boss says "Well prove it!" then Bubba says "Pick
someone... and I know them!"
Well Bubba's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom
Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!" Bubba says "Tom Selleck! Tom and I
were in boy scouts together when we were Family!" but Bubba's boss says "No you
weren't!" then Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Hollywood and drive up
to Tom Selleck's house. Bubba knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and
Bubba goes "Tom!!!" and Tom goes "Bubba!" and they hug and catch up for 30
minutes and Bubba's boss can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that could
happen, it's just one person," so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick
somebody else!"
This time Bubba's boss has someone in mind! "The president, Bill Clinton! You
don't know Bill Clinton!" but Bubba says "Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate
team together in college!" Bubba's boss says "No you weren't!" and Bubba says
"Yes we were!" so they fly to Washington and they catch up with the President at
a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Bubba get's
close enough to catch Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!" and the President waves
"Bubba!" and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and
Bubba's boss is stunned-- he can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that's
just two people in one country-- that doesn't mean he knows everyone in the
whole world!" so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick someone out of the
world spectrum and I know them!"
And Bubba's boss knows just who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know
the Pope!" and Bubba says "The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!" and Bubba's boss
says "No he didn't!" and Bubba says "Yes he did!" so they fly to Rome where the
Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people. They work their
way through the crowd-- without much luck-- so Bubba says "Boss, we're never
gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you what--I'll work
my way up there and when I do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the
Pope!" and he leaves. Well Bubba's boss waits and waits and waits and just when
he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and right
there beside him is Bubba!
Shortly afterwards, Bubba's boss passes out. Bubba comes back and finds his
boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake up!" and when his
boss comes to, he asks "Boss what happened?" Bubba's boss looks at Bubba and
says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton... hell, I can even take
the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks 'Who's that up there with
Bubba?' that's a little more than I can take!
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