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A large woman put on a dress and asked her husband if the dress made her look different.
Her husband said, " You’re asking the wrong person, I saw you before you put it on.
 

At a bar, one patron to another: “Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink.”
Why?
“You’re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you”

A fat lady walks into a bar with a pig under her arm. The bartender asks: "where did you get the cow?" the fat lady says "its not a cow its a pig", and the bartender said, " I was talking to the pig"

A father and his 6-year-old son walk into a bank. When they get in line the son notices the very large woman in front of them. The son tugs at the dad’s jacket and says, "Daddy, look! That lady is huge!" the father replies "yes son she's as big as a truck". About a minute later the large woman’s beeper goes off and the kid pushes his father out of the way and yells, "Look out dad!!! It’s backing up!"